new town
by fang4
Summary: Chapter 9 uploaded!!!!The battle with 'IT' takes place, HakkaixGojyo very big hint there. Sanzo is sunbathing on top of a roof. Find out more in the story! Oh God... that sounded like a Kids Central advertisement..
1. Default Chapter

I want to own Saiyuki. Then I can have Hakkai. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
The Sanzo- Ikkou were on their way to the West. Finally after so many butt- numbing hours of sitting, mind- boggling mega hours of Goku and Gojyo bickering (like old hens), and some nanoseconds of Sanzo screeching, they finally arrived at their next stop  
  
" Ah." Hakkai parked Hakuryu neatly into a parking space and gingerly climbed out, stretching. Why he bothered to par, I don't know as Hakuryu would later transform into a dragon. But still. anything Hakkai does is so.. perfect. ( Yes I love Hakkai.)  
  
Goku bounced out of the jeep, jumping up and down, while madly sniffing the air for any interesting food scents. Gojyo lazily stretched, his ' hot chick radar' switched on to alert mode.  
  
The town they were in now was a food town, full of food and mainly selling food. Attractive smells of food drifted through the foody air.  
  
" Wah. Sugoi!" Goku energetically punched the air with his fist fter surveying the scene before him.  
  
" Ne ne Sanzo, can we explore the place? Please please??"  
  
Goku looked at his jeeper with his killer move: his huge golden eyes which were now watery and full of hope. Aw...  
  
"Wait. Let me check." Sanzo pulled out an electronic organiser from inside his robes. "Ok, we are ahead of schedule. We can stay here for a day. But we will be leaving tomorrow afternooon. HEAR ME?" "HAI!"  
  
" Ano, Sanzo, can we check into a hotel first?" Hakkai asked. " Let's go!" Gojyo quickly said. Most probably so that he could secure a room for his activities later in the night.  
  
There was an Island suite left. Sanzo took it. It was actually not bad and included 4 rooms, 4 toilets, a big living room, and a kitchen.  
  
The young female receptionist at the counter was understandably flushed and stammering when attending to them. I mean come on, how often would you ever get to see such fine specimens of the male species?  
  
Sanzo the sexy blond guy, Hakkai the handsome gentleman, Gojyo the hot casanova, Goku the kawaii little child.  
  
" Can you hurry up and give us the keys?!" Sanzo yelled, getting pissed off with her staring and stammering. Hakkai and Goku offered apologetic smiles, almost causing her to swoon. " H..he..here." she passed the keys over.  
  
Gojyo, well, Gojyo now did a very Gojyo- like thing- he asked her out. This time, she really swooned. Hakkai hurriedly grabbed the keys from her limp fingers and herded the gang towards the elevators before Sanzo blew up.  
  
Each one of them had their own toilet, and they were very well equipped. The toilets even had a jacuzzi. The rooms had water beds. They unloaded their stuff and went out of the hotel.  
  
They wandered around the town, Hakkai stocking up on groceries at the same time, Hakuryu perched on his shoulder. Sanzo was constantly whacking the two on the head and Hakkai constantly telling them to be ggod boys so that Sanzo wouldn't whack them. " Hai." was always their dazed reply after being hit by the harisen. But Gojyo would start flirting again and Goku would start whining again and they would start bickering again. And the ritual would start again.  
  
They got free samples of lpllipops. Sanzo fell in love with the strawberry and vanilla one. And promptly ordered a years supply of it. No two shops sold the same thing.  
  
They were all busy looking out for their own food. 


	2. II

Thanks blinkie! That was encouraging. Anyway, school just started and homework is going to come in like cannonballs, so I will be uploading less frequently. And please, keep the review or flames coming. Give me your ideas, anything. I love Nataku Taishi fics.. They rule!!  
  
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Unknown to them, Homura, Zeon and Shien were also in the same village. Unknown to Homura, Zeon and Shien, the Sanzo- Ikkou were in the same town. Unknown to both parties, they had each decided to explore this food paradise.  
  
" Hey Homura, pass me your Mastercard. I want to buy this apple." Zeon demanded. " Apple?!" The other 2 looked at him. "Yeah, what's wrong with that? I like the apples here; Tenkai apples suck!" Zeon replied a teeny weeny bit too defensively. " Oh whatever."  
  
Homura tossed his Mastercard over. They had all covered up their chakra in order to stop people from bowing down to them. This was supposed to be a vacation- the attention was unnecessary. "I still haven't found what I want yet. I wonder where Son Goku is." he thought  
  
" Homura, does Zeon want apples because it reminds him of Gojyo?"  
  
" Hmm.. I don't think he would be so. Look into his mind." " Hai." This would be fun, Shien thought. He sent out an invisible probe of energy.  
  
" Red, so red. Haha. Maybe I should get tomatoes. No! a camera would be better. Hyaahaha! I think I will lend the camera to Shien too, so that he can take pictures of Hakkai." Shien cut off the energy, his face slightly pink. ' Since when did he find out?'  
  
" Ne Homura, can we get a camera?" Zeon innocently asked. " Why?" " Eto. um.. Because this town is so cute." " Whatever. My stupid father up there is going to pay for it anyway." Telepathically, " Shien, how was it?" " Yeah, he is." " Oh dear.."  
~ ~ ~ ~ To the Sanzo- Ikkou now.  
  
" Sanzo, can I have the room key? I'm feeling quite tired and the bags are getting heavy." "I think I will join you. I have to keep my energy for tonight's babes. Hey chibi saru, buy the red pepper tea if you see it."  
" Kono baka ero kap-" " Urusei!" Sanzo changed his strategy this time. Instead of smacking Goku, he stuffed a lolly into Goku's mouth. Sanzo- sama tossed the keys to the, not really caring where he threw. Luckily they had good reflexes.  
  
He turned and started walking off. "Saaanzoooooooooo! Chotto matte!" Goku yelled, swallowing the lolly and stick.  
  
" Come on, let's go."  
  
Back in the hotel...  
  
Hakkai leant backing the bathtub and gave a sigh of contentment. How many days had it been since his last proper clean bath. He HAD to make use of this opportunity. The steam from the bath was fogging the mirror.  
  
The heat was so comfortable..he felt so drowsy, eyelids were so heavy.sleepy. Finally giving in to his fatigue, he closed his eyes and dozed off.  
  
@@@Gojyo@@@@  
  
He had taken a shower and was presently lying on the soft down- feather bed. He stared up at the ceiling, wiggling his toes as he did. 'This is one of the rare times that I can have a bed suitable for my height. Lucky saru. Always has a bed of a comfortable height 'cos of his shortness..' He thought.  
  
'Oh well.. time for a nap. This bed is so perfect for bouncing on with women He dozed off, a happily stupid smile plastered on his face.  
  
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I somehow feel that this fic will end up sucking like no other fic ever. Don't have a good feeling about this. anyway, Chapter 3 next! 


	3. III

@@@ Hakkai@@@  
  
' Where is this place? It's so dark. I better be on guard.'  
  
" Welcome to my town. Do you like it?" a slimy booming voice came out of the darkness.  
  
Somehow, the voice reminded Hakkai of a fat, oily businessman who wore gaudy gold jewellery and thought he was very sexy. Eeeeee.  
  
" My precious green-eyed beauty.. you and I are going to have some fun together. I have planned such a programme for us tonight." The voice started to pant. " I can't wait for tonight, my little minx.. Ooh yes.."  
  
' His? I only belong to Kana and she belongs to me. Nobody else.' Hakkai thought furiously. He smiled his 'Hakkai smile'. " Really? My, my. Would you care to show yourself?"  
  
The source of the voice materialized.  
  
Oh my god. What a freak of nature. He was uglier, by far the ugliest disgusting-est THING ever saw. Models in Paris and all over the world would have fainted at such a sight of. of.  
  
Fat. Seriously, IT was nothing but fat. No eyes, no nose, just this gigantic pulsating pile of fat. Ok, perhaps IT once had normal organs, but it didn't now anyway. To be serious, it actually resembled the monsters in Powerpuff Girls. But a more x100 and more times hentai version.  
  
IT kept leering at Hakkai, looking at him as though h were nude..  
  
Hakkai furiously tried not to gag at the smell of the monster. Ever smelt really, really bad B.O? This was much worse.  
  
"Come to Papa dearest." The 'IT' as Hakkai thought of it was squishing over closer and closer, the stench coming nearer as well. Hakkai released a big ki ball at him. And the ki dissolved among the oil. Does that mean ki is an oil soluble substance? Hmmm..  
  
"Oh you naughty boy, so we shall play!" It reached out and caught Hakkai in a hug. Eeew.  
  
Hakkai couldn't stand it anymore. He screamed.  
  
"GwAaaH!!"  
  
He shot up very awake. And so did Gojyo who had also screamed. And why? He also had the same dream but he was in it instead of Hakkai in his dream.  
  
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	4. IV Thanks ashtoreth!

Ok, I have had a some feedback. I am going to make the summary longer. Thanks for the reviews! Hm. I hope you like this. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
" This is freaky."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
" He stinks."  
  
" Yeah."  
  
" We should tell Sanzo and Goku."  
  
" Yeah. The bouzo's gonna be the first to be raped.." "Nani?!"  
  
" The blob said when my shakujou swiped through him. It's oily now."  
  
" Oh. Hentai youkai."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
They set off to search for the other two.  
  
" They are sure to be together. Goku never leaves Sanzo-sama."  
  
" Um Gojyo." " Yeah?" "That guy keeps staring at you. He looks familiar ne?" The two good buddies stopped and stared back at the guy.  
  
Said guy had orange hair and an eyepatch. And a RED bandanna.  
  
" Hey, that orange hair is familiar." Gojyo said, turning to Hakkai. " Sha Gojyo. You have forgotten me in such a short time. I should have visited you sooner." A voice interrupted from behind.  
  
" That voice too. Zeon isn't it?" Hakkai politely enquired.  
  
" Yes that's right. And how are you, Cho Hakkai?" A softer voice joined in the 'conversation'.  
  
" Shien!" Gojyo exclaimed.  
  
" Ano. why are you here?" Shien and Hakkai asked at the same time. Hakkai didn't take any notice of it and Shien blushed, secretly thrilled at the fact that they had said the same thing at the same time.  
  
'Oh, I must write this down and record it in my diary.' Shien thought to himself, mentally rubbing his hands and laughing maniacally.  
  
" Hey, does Shien have a 'thing' for Hakkai?" Gojyo nudged Zeon in the ribs.  
  
' He touched me, he touched me! Oh what a wonderful day this is!"  
  
"Oi! Baka kami! Why are you here?" Gojyo got impatient and yelled. That snapped each one out of their daydream.  
  
" We took a short vacation. Homura's here too." " He'll be pleased to find out that Son Goku is here too." " He's still in love with the bakasaru huh?"  
  
" Maa maa Gojyo. Tht's his and Goku's private business ne?" "Hey. We were supposed to find them." " Sou ka.. Sumimasen, I forgot.."  
  
" We'll help you find them."  
  
' Now we can have more time with them.. Hehe..'  
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So how did you find this? I really want to thank ashtoreth. She really helped. But. I'm still not satisfied with this. Hmph. 


	5. V

Sanzo and Goku and Homura.  
  
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" Sanzo! You think this is the one Gojyo wants? Or that one?"  
  
" Ch. Whatever. Get any. Like I give a damn."  
  
" OK! I will get BOTH!"  
  
*WHAM *  
  
"Bakasaru! I said ANY meaning ONE!" "Itaaaiiii!" "Urusei! Ch."  
  
Goku hurriedly picked out one packet of red pepper tea. Sanzo paid for it.  
  
Then they stopped at an egg shop, thanks to Goku. Sanzo's vein was twitching. 'Bakasaru! We are stopping at every damned shop because of him. And why am I listening to him?'  
  
"Sanzo I want that! I want that! PLEEASE!" Goku looked at him with secret weapon #1. Sanzo could feel his heart melting. he could almost drown in such. HEY! W ho was this monkey that could hold so much power over him?! That COULD not happen! Sanzo-sama got angry.  
  
" Urusei kono baka baka BAKA SARU!" He roared. " Buy it yourself if you really want it so much!"  
  
" Demo Sanzo, you have all the money.."  
" I'll pay for it."  
  
Goku spun around to see who was his benefactor. His eyes widened. " Homura?"  
  
" Ch. Troublesome kami."  
  
"Arigatou Homura!" " But you will have to keep me company for the rest of today."  
  
"Ah?! That's all? Ok!" The innocent ( shall we say) monkey happily agreed.  
  
" Konzen. I have him today."  
  
" Ch. So? I have him everyday."  
  
" I might not return him.but I will tell you how he tastes.."  
  
" Teme!!!!"  
  
They were talking telepathically. Goku broke into theironcoming war by saying, " Ne Homura, where do you want to go?" Homura broke off the psychic bond. " Oh, let's go there." They started walking off.  
  
Homura turned back and smirked. " Victory is mine now Konzen."  
  
Poor Sanzo.  
  
He clenched his fists but could not do anything. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Hakkai, Gojyo, Shien and Zeon found him drowning his sorrows in a pot of wine and ahem.. carrot sticks. They had finally located their target- Sanzo at an al-fresco style restaurant.  
  
" Sanzo, are you alright?" Hakkai asked worriedly. " Hey where's the saru?" Gojyo asked as well. Sanzo pinned Gojyo with a very icy glare.  
  
"Ok, ok.." Gojyo mock- surrendered with his hands in the air.  
  
"Leave. Me. Alone." Sanzo muttered darkly.  
  
" Demo Sanzo, there is an emergency. A youkai is.." Hakkai's voice trailed off. seeing that the carrot sticks were more interesting then what he had to say, to Sanzo, he reached across and moved the food away.  
  
And got punched.  
  
Hakkai was sent sprawling to the ground. " Who said you could touch MY food? Homura took my Goku and you want to touch my food?!" Sanzo snarled.  
  
" Hakkai! Daijobu ka?" Shien rushed over quickly to Hakkai's side to check for injuries. A big bruise was starting to form on Hakkai's cheekbone. Shien slowly stood up and faced Sanzo.  
  
A crowd began to gather. Bystanders and onlookers were enraptures by the sight of so many handsome/ beautiful men around. Others were attracted by the prospect of a good fight.  
  
" Oh dear. Shien is mad now. Sanzo's going to get it.." Zeon whispered. Shien took out his laser whips. But before he could put them to good use and smack the blinking daylights out of Sanzo, a chest dropped from the sky and landed unceremoniously on the priest's head. That added to the five pots of wine, caused Sanzo to drop rather ungraciously to the ground.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Why something like that dropped down from heaven.~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Up in Heaven, Jiroushin was busily searching for Kanzeon- bosatsu sama's Heavenly Superslick lipstick in Sweet Strawberry #01.  
  
"Where is it? Where is it? Kannon- sama will have my head." Jiroushin mumbled oin the yard. Kanzeon had stubbornly insisted that the lippy would be there. She didn't want to look for it personally because of her newly manicured fingernails.  
  
He tossed stuff around. He spied something glittering rather gaudily under a chest. Throwing the chest, he found the blasted lipstick. And the chest went falling, down to earth.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
".zo.Sanzo. Wake up.." Sanzo groggily opened his eyelids. He was in the hotel room now. " Good, you are alive. The chest came down rather hard.." Hakkai breathed a sigh of relief.  
" Goku would be so upset if he saw you injured."  
" Oi bouzo, what is in the chest? ."  
  
" Why should I answer a lousy ero kappa?"  
  
"Nani?!"  
  
" Yare yare. Why don't we just open the thing?"  
  
"Ch. Do what you want."  
  
So they opened it. And stared. Especially Sanzo. " Wow. Sanzo- sama, this is. a gift from heaven. Must be for you." " Yeah"  
  
The chest was filled with a wide range of bullets. They all had different shapes and sizes. Except. " Ano Sanzo, which bullet does what?"  
  
" I don't know."  
  
Then he stuffed the chest into his spandex space.  
  
"Ikuzo."  
  
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Ok, I managed to type this. I'm thinking of how to phrase the the next chapter in a better way. How was it? 


	6. VI

Yo! Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me. I have 2 tests and cca for the whole day.. Darn. This chapter.. I don't know what to say about it. Just read and tell me?  
  
~ ~ Homura+ Goku~ ~  
  
They were strolling down a beach, hand in hand. Somewhere in the background, sexy jazz music was playing. Goku stopped and stared at the floor.  
  
" What's wrong Goku? Look at me." Homura tenderly asked.  
  
" A.ano.. Homura. I .. I love you." Goku mumbled, blushing all the while, fidgeting nervously.  
  
Homura could feel his heart soaring like the sea gulls above. Finally! Finally Son Goku had fallen for him.  
  
He gathered the flushed Goku in his arms and lowered his face down to the boy's innocent one. Their lips were about to fuse in a sweetly loving kiss.  
And.  
  
" Ne Homura! Look at the purple carrot! Is it nice??" Goku asked excitedly.  
*SIGH*.  
  
How pathetic could he get? A monstrous purple carrot was more interesting than Homura Taishi, the feared fighting god. He shook himself out of his daydream.  
  
Yeah, it was castles in the air. But by far the most beautiful and wondrous castle he had ever made.  
  
' What is he thinking of? Perhaps it will be easier for me to make him fall in love with me if I knew what he was thinking of..' He sent out his energy to search Goku's head, and his brainwaves banged straight into a wall.  
  
Goku's head had become incredibly hard due to the constant greetings of his keeper's harisen. And that thick skull had effectively blocked out Homura's attempt to invade him.  
  
' Damn! Damn that stupid Konzen! #@$%!'  
  
Homura couldn't help but notice Goku's agile and lean frame as he bounced around.  
  
' Son Goku. You have grown more muscular indeed ( eyeing Goku's butt). Grr..I can't wait!' An idea began to form in his mind. Hey. It just Might work..  
  
" Goku. Those buns are of low standards."  
  
" Huh? But they are the only ones I can find. Besides, they taste good. Do you want one?"  
  
' Oh yeah I would want one if you fed it to me with your mouth.' He thought.  
  
" Oh, then you haven't tasted Tenkai buns have you? They are like where they came from, heavenly."  
  
'Yeah and Tenkai is so boring as well. But I won't mention that now.'  
  
"Really?! I want to eat them!!!!"  
  
" I have some in my room, follow me then." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ 


	7. VII

DIANA!! I AM SO SORRY FOR HITTING YOUR HEAD! My aiming sucks! I think it was an act of Mother Nature that I didn't go for basketball. Think of the number of casualties there would be. 0__o;;  
  
curiozkatt!!!! I missed you!! Hehe. Thanks for the luck chris! =D Ashtoreth!!! THANK YOU! sun!!! Sho nice of you...  
  
So Hakkaix Shien huh.. Ok, I'll try.  
  
SO SORRY DIANA!!!! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
~ ~ ~ Sanzo+ Hakkai+ Gojyo+ Shien+ Zeon ~ ~ ~  
  
" First, to find Goku."  
  
Everyone turned and looked at Sanzo expectantly.  
"WHAT?! Do I look like I know everything about the saru?!"  
  
' Just because I would like to doesn't mean that I do.'  
  
"Just because I'm his keeper you expect him to tell me everything? Then I might as well become his lover since he's with me so often!"  
  
" Ooops. Big slip there Sanzo- sama." " Nicely done.."  
  
" I think Homura has him." Shien concluded quietly.  
  
" URUSEI!" Then * click*.  
  
" Don't you ever. EVER. Mention that asshole's name to me. And I don't want to repeat this again."  
  
" Hai. But you still don't register the fact that the gun is useless against gods."  
  
" Sanzo, first things first. I think what Shien said makes sense. Since Goku isn't with you, I think it is likely that he met Homura along the way."  
  
" And knowing Homura, he won't waste any time in getting Goku to go to bed with him."  
  
The others all nodded in agreement.  
  
" Maa. I just hope Goku remembers what I told him."  
  
" Eh?" " You instruct him in sex?" " I wouldn't have guessed.." " DIE!"  
  
" Calm down.. I just advised him on some aspects of life.. nothing explicit. And I treat Goku as my younger brother Sanzo, Shien. Nothing more, nothing less."  
  
" Ch. Speak clearly next time."  
  
" Ok! Now we shall go and search for the saru!" " Wait. Are the two baka kami coming as well?"  
  
Gojyo and Hakkai exchanged looks.  
  
" If they want to."  
  
" We'll bring you to Homura's room." Zeon said eagerly.  
  
" They can come." Came the curt reply. " And leaving IMMEDIATELY after that."  
  
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Homura+ Goku  
  
In Homura's room...  
  
" Ne Homura, where are the buns?" The little monkey enthusiastically sniffed the air, his back to Homura.  
  
" The best tasting buns are yours, Son Goku."  
  
"Eh? But I don't know how to make meat buns. Hakkai does though. and his taste really good! You should try them!"  
  
Homura sweat-dropped, then regained his composure. " I would rather try yours." Reaching out, he touched them.  
  
" OI!" Goku jumped up in the air in shock. Of all the things happening, he hadn't thought this would happen. He turned around immediately noted the lascivious look in the fighting god's eyes.  
  
"Teme! You horny pig!"  
  
" Nyoibo!!" Goku yelled and shifted into a battle stance. But the target was nowhere to be seen. A hand grabbed him around his waist.  
  
This was almost too easy, Homura reflected. He nuzzled Goku's tempting neck and bit his ear non too gently. He was too strong for Goku.  
  
Homura tossed Goku onto the bed.  
  
There was a flurry of violet silk. There was a hot rush and tangle of limbs. They rolled around on the bed breathlessly. Skin met skin and hands were eager to remove whatever stood in the way of ecstasy.  
  
Goku struggled, and somehow landed on top of Homura. Trying catch his breath, Goku managed to wheeze out, " Hakkai said that the act of sex can only be done with the ones we care about and love.and I would much prefer to learn it from Sanzo than be taught by you."  
Homura, blinded by lust, failed miserably to see the blow coming. And fainted rather unceremoniously.  
Straightening up, Goku hopped off Homura and ran over to the door, just as the door was broken down.  
  
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That's all for now! I somehow improvised along the way. How was it? Actually, I wanted this chapter especially for those ppl mentioned at the top, but accept it only if you like it.. if you don't. Ah well, I have to know what's wrong or right, right?  
  
Reviews and I want flames too. Hmph. Yeah I'm weird. 


	8. VIII

Hello. I wonder how this chapter will turn out. Ah heck. See first.  
  
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Two people stood in what remained of the doorway. They saw Goku panting and automatically assumed the worst.  
  
" Goku!"  
  
"Saru! Were you.."  
  
" Oi! What saru?! Kono ero kappa! Nothing happened!"  
  
" Maa.. So you are alright Goku."  
  
"Yup!"  
  
"But Homura doesn't seem to be."  
  
Gojyo peered over Hakkai and let out a whistle.  
  
Homura was lying unconscious on a very messy bed. A bed that looked as though it had been 'properly used' in his opinion. And a very big, beautiful bruise was beginning to form on the Toushin Taishi's high cheekbone.  
  
" Goku, I didn't know you like rough sex.. But how do monkeys do it other than the rough way?"  
"Huh?" Goku looked up innocently at Gojyo. (Why do I keep typing Gojyo as Gojyp?!!)  
  
"Ne Gojyo, how many types of sex are there? I thought there was just one type.. Can you show me the different types?"  
  
"..."  
  
" Ano Goku, sex shouldn't be seen by others other than the two um. participants. It's a special and private thing."  
" Sou ka. Demo, what about the magazines that have those heavy- chested women?"  
  
" Um.."  
  
" Kono bakasaru! That's a different thing altogether! Those people are cheap! And don't ask us anymore! Ask Sanzo- sama." Gojyo yelled in a highly agitated tone.  
  
Hakkai and Gojyo were blushing, feeling so awkward with all the 'grown-up' questions being thrown at them. And by Goku, nonetheless. Come to think of it, these were questions that they had never really thought about..  
  
"Hai. Demo, where's Sanzo?"  
" He's downstairs with Shien and Zeon. We knew he would be trigger- happy when he came up, so we left him there. It wasn't easy persuading that over- protective monk to stay."  
  
' But after we hinted at the possibility that he might hit you in his bullet craze, he grudgingly stayed.' thought the other two.  
"He didn't trust the other two not to help Homura touch you, so he made them stay there as well."  
  
" Oh. Let's get out of here. It brings bad memories."  
  
' If Homura hadn't been so overcome by lust that he didn't see my attack, I would have been." Goku shivered involuntarily in disgust.  
  
Gojyo saw the shudder running through the saru and felt a wave of pity. 'Poor thing. He must be so traumatised after almost being raped.."  
  
"Oi saru. You alright?"  
  
" Eh? Yeah I guess."  
  
" Come on. Sanzo must be waiting.."  
  
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Dear Sanzo sama was wearing the wooden floor thin by walking to and fro on it so often. He actually looked like an anxious father waiting for the nurse to come out of the maternity ward saying ' congratulations sir! You have a healthy.'  
  
'Ch. Where the hell is the saru? What the hell's taking them so long. Aargh!' He stopped abruptly in mid-stride and turned a neat 90 degrees.  
  
" Matte kudasai, Genjo Sanzo." Shien's faint voice sounded.  
  
"Shouldn't you have enough faith in your team-mates to bring you Son Goku?"  
  
" What team-mates? They are just servants." He replied coldly.  
  
Shien smiled thinly. " Are they?"  
  
" Urusei kono baka kami!"  
  
" Doushite? You made us stay here with you so I have to find some way to pass the time."  
  
Sanzo was seriously having a hard time trying not to burst one of his veins.  
  
" Yare yare.. Sanzo, you better control that temper of yours." A soft voice chided him gently. " You'll have varicose veins if you continue that way."  
"Sanzo!"  
  
Goku happily threw himself onto his keeper who could have evaded him if he had really wanted to. IF.  
" Kono bakasaru!" * THWACK* *THWACK*  
  
" Itai! Sanzo...."  
  
Their happy reunion was interrupted by Sanzo's sudden rise of temper thus bringing about the onset of THE FAN.  
  
" Why did you walk off with the enemy? How stupid can you get? What if he.."  
  
The others stared as Sanzo continued yelling, ranting and raving at poor Goku, occasionally hitting him with the fan, blissfully oblivious to the shaking shelves in the hotel.  
  
" Sanzo, I think you forgot our more important business."  
  
"Nani?"  
  
" The youkai that wants to make you his sex slave." Gojyo said bluntly, replying for Hakkai.  
  
"Oh."  
" He might want Goku too." Hakkai deliberately said.  
  
" Ikuzo!"  
  
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @  
  
Ok, that's all for this chapter. Sorry for the OOCness! Couldn't help it.. As usual, flames, reviews! 


	9. IX

Why are there suddenly so many MSTs now? Kinda immature. That sucks.  
  
Anyway, try to enjoy this ppl! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
Sanzo lay on top of a roof, the top half of his robes around his waist, his hand languidly fanning himself. And why was dear Sanzo- sama sunbathing on a rooftop with no sun block?  
  
He was to be bait to lure the 'IT'.  
And why wasn't it Goku or Hakkai or Gojyo who was up there? 1) He was the one the ' IT really wanted 2) He was too protective of Goku ever since their recent 'traumatising' separation. 3) Shien and Zeon absolutely refused the idea of Hakkai or Gojyo being the bait. (They had threatened Goku with Homura.)  
  
So that settled it.  
  
Suddenly, a blast of methane came Sanzo's way. Methane is produced when bacteria respire. Bacteria are present in places of low or NO hygiene. Therefore 'IT' was here. Or rather, 50 miles away, and viewable.  
  
For the first time in his life, Genjo Sanzo choked. He choked in horror at the sight of 'IT', he choked at the horrible cloying stench. Oh, the poor soul..  
  
Where were the others?!!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ( Shien and Zeon had gone back to their room to take care of Homura)  
  
The remaining three of the Sanzo-Ikkou were hiding out in an alley near Sanzo's building to provide back- up in case Sanzo needed it.  
  
" Ne Hakkai, is Sanzo safe with the hentai youkai?"  
  
" Don't worry, he'll be fine Goku. Sanzo can take care of himself."  
  
"Hn. That bou- EW!!! That damned thing is near! Can you SMELL it?!"  
  
Goku was gagging into a drain.  
" Waa Hakkai!!! This smell is worse than the one after you and Gojyo have shared a room!!" * Gags some more*  
  
The two mentioned men froze at that. It was so quiet that you could have heard their breaths- had they been breathing.  
  
" Eh? Did I say something wrong? Your room smells of sweat and. something else.."  
" BAKASARU! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!" Gojyo managed to sputter out, flustered.  
  
" But there IS a smell after you both share a room! There isn't any smell like that after I share a room with any of you! What do you do inside?" Goku questioned them with red dots on his cheeks and big round eyes.  
  
" ....."  
" .....Goku! 'IT's here!" Hakkai quickly spotted something to distract Goku. He was relieved to find a distraction from where the conversation was inevitably headed towards.  
" We must air the room next time after *ahem* ne Hakkai?"  
  
" Sou, sou."  
  
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It was big, it was oily. Beads of slime glistened on its huge outline. Technically, it couldn't be called a youkai. It didn't have the normal shape, normal build, normal DNA structure a youkai had. So they christened it 'IT'  
  
" Hello my little kitty. I've been waiting for you." IT breathed in what it thought was a seductive purr.  
*Gag* " DIE!!!" Sanzo didn't say his usual speech before killing a lone youkai or anything. He was running out of fresh air.  
  
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*  
  
Some more banging ensued. IT just laughed a disgusting cackle. " Your little toys wouldn't hurt me.. I'm not a youkai, darling.. Will you surrender and be mine?"  
  
' Shit! No more bullets!' Sanzo thought wildly. ' What can I use now?!' He rummaged through his robes, hoping to find something, anything, while keeping a very careful eye on 'IT' which was moving closer every slimy second.  
" Sanzo! Your new bullets!" Hakkai shouted from their 'hiding place'.  
  
Poker-faced Sanzo merely grunted. But actually, he was thanking his stars for Hakkai.  
  
He lugged out the chest and just grabbed a handful of white bullets, loading them into his gun.  
  
" You just might die now."  
Instead of the usual *BANG* *BANG*, it was a * SQUELCH* *SQUELCH*, coming from the gun.  
  
" Nani?" Sanzo looked at his gun in disbelief.  
  
" That's enough playing for today, dear, why don't you come to Papa now. Come 'ere swe-"  
Miracle of miracles! The white squelchy bullets worked!!!  
* Usual screams* * Usual 'NO,NO THIS CAN'T BE!!!' ending in horrible wails*  
  
IT was disappearing. Those white bullets were... LIPASE BULLETS!!!! Lipase is an enzyme that digests fats into fatty acids and glycerol. Which means, 'IT' was being digested right before their very eyes.  
" Sanzo! Shoot more to speed up the rate of reaction!" Hakkai yelled.  
Trigger- happy monk gladly obliged.  
Unfortunately, they caused a flood of fatty acids when 'IT' was fully broken down into simpler substances, inadvertently causing environmental pollution!!!!  
" Hakuryuu! Transform!!" Hakkai shouted urgently.  
Sanzo jumped down from his high perch and landed perfectly in the front seat.  
" Hakkai! Drive faster!!!"  
" Hai hai!!" Hakkai pressed the accelerator. Hakuryuu squealed.  
  
They hightailed it out of town, leaving behind the now unappetizing town.  
  
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THE ENDING SUCKED!!!! Should I do an epilogue?!!!!!! I FEEL SO CRAZY!!! HELP!!!! REVIEW!!!!  
  
And sorry for the lipase and blah blah!  
  
I just finished reading through my Biology textbook for the coming test, so I * somehow* got influenced.  
  
SORRY! 


End file.
